just 'being' and connecting

I took a small break from weeknotes/writing as much to just ‘be’ for awhile. I’ve been enjoying silence a lot lately, whether I initially intended to or not. I’ve had a lot of canceled and externally derailed plans lately, but I don’t seem to mind too much. It’s a nice excuse to get out and do things on my own, but I tend to shut myself in when I have too much time on my hands. It does take quite a bit of energy to get my inertia back – more than I’d like. When I get moving again, I do make the most of it.

My time this weekend has been spent rotting, cleaning, playing video games, and browsing my RSS feed. It’s been a joy but I felt myself getting into a rut. This morning, after waking up MUCH later than intended, I went to a local no-frills coffee shop to defiantly ‘start’ my day anyway. It’s unseasonably warm and sunny, which feels like a blessing. The coffee shop was out of the empanadas I like so I went to a local fast food restaurant down the street for a quick bite.

Because of my unusual route home and lunch spot, I got the opportunity to feed some folks I see around my neighborhood a lot. A mother and her young son, and an unhoused man who lives on my block. Maybe it’s my italian roots but I love feeding people a nice hot meal when they need it. I’m so glad I got to help some of my local folks today.

These small kind acts realigned my connection to my community and I’m so grateful. I’ve been feeling so disjointed and disconnected lately, but I feel this weekend has healed a lot of that. On friday, I attended a local lesbian night at one of my favorite venues with one of my favorite groups of people, and it was my favorite night in a very long time. I was surrounded by queer joy and the love of my friends. Even now upon reflection it’s hard to find the words to describe how grateful I am for that day. I can only hope I am lucky enough to experience more of all of this in the upcoming weeks, and beyond, regardless of what is to come.

Let it be known that today, despite the looming threats of fascism, I am queer and openhearted and ready to support those in my community who need it. These qualities are larger than me, and no fascist can destroy them. I see them in all of those who love me and who love each other.